Chapter 1: Recovering from the Tunnels Edit
It was a typical day in Claus’ house. Drago was playing Tetris on his Gameboy, trying to beat the high score which the Ultimate Chimera made, Ridley was on the internet, and the Ultimate Chimera was reading through Porky’s diaries, documentaries, and fan fiction he stole. “And then Sonic wins the race… Why do I get the feeling I’ve read this story before, but with different characters?” the Chimera muttered, reading one of Porky’s stories. Ridley was looking through YouTube. “Mother 3 version anime… Okay, the grammar in that title is just ugh… Isn’t this the video Porky liked?” Ridley clicked on the video. “I’m not impressed.” He growled while watching it. Drago kept getting the Z-shaped blocks he called “DEATH” over and over again until he lost. He sighed and put down the Gameboy, noticed one of the Claus stickers was peeling off, took it off, and replaced it with another one, throwing the sticker on top of the UC’s head. The UC glared at the sticker, laughed a bit, and stuck it to the refrigerator. As he walked away, it fell off.
Meanwhile, Claus was upstairs in his room, on his bed, with only the light of his laptop shining him in complete darkness. He was talking to Rayman over DeviantART, talking about a major crossover between stuff they hated.
"“chaosmaster x superhappyyoshis x evilraynebow x ren and stimee: adult partee kartoon x porkee duh x sanic x shadough the hedgehawg x fire elbem x animey erthbownd x animey muther 3 x noo spunjbawb x uld vekolien x cownt's krok upcession x supercutiedraggy x aj wiki x DOtD Cynder x our famileiz x yaoi x shippings as a whole x sonic.exe x meguh baybeez x hetalia x pokemon animey x umbreyun.” he typed. He was using watermelon-speak as he always did when making fun of things. His mask was off, since he learned it was fine to not wear the mask after taking it off while in the past. The events of that time seemed so far ago, even though it was only two months earlier. Vecoline had died since then, and a few more characters have been thrown into the Galactic Generator. “I swear I threw someone into that generator, I think it was a chimera, I just can’t put my finger on it…” Claus continued typing replies to Rayman’s comments. “Oh, yes, that’s an incredibly deep statement.” He joked. Claus clicked on a neat-looking piece of Spyro artwork, only to find out it was a flash animation with incredibly loud Justin Beiber music playing as Cynder and Spyro kissed each other and hugged in different locations. The music alerted everybody downstairs. Claus quickly closed the tab, breathing heavily. Suddenly, the light on the ceiling flashed on as the door opened. Ridley was standing in between Claus’ room and the random plush storage room, his wings wide open to make Claus notice him. “Claus, are you downloading stuff?” he asked. Claus just stared at him. Ridley groaned and slammed the door shut. Claus got up and turned the lights off again. “Oh, so some random ‘Surperior’ person just deactivated their account and is telling me about it… K.”
Later, in Porky’s house, Porky was working on his biggest project yet.
Chapter 2: The Creation of the Commander Edit
“Well, I just inserted the ‘wolfaboo’ and ‘weeaboo’ stuff into my precious little monster’s mind. What do you want?” Porky said, working on an abomination with Mother Brain and Darkhowl. A giant computer screen took up an entire wall as Porky typed in things with his normal-sized keyboard. “Mega Babies fan!” Darkhowl suggested. “Ah, yes, that’s needed!” Porky typed in “MEGA BABIES LOVE” into Microsoft Word, saved it to his desktop, and dragged it into a folder titled “STUFF THE COMMANDER IS GONNA NEED”. Suddenly, Noctisark came in with a Target bag. “Hey, Porky! I got the replacements!” he emptied the bag, revealing a bunch of Warriors and Twilight books, along with a lot of Hetalia DVDs. “They ran all out of Mega Babies, sorry, I’ll get some off of Amazon.” Porky suddenly got an idea. He typed “CONSTANT ‘TAIM 2 GOH 2 DA STOAR’ STUFF” into MS Word and put it in the Commander folder. Noctisark ran next to Porky. Porky went to Internet Explorer and looked up “masked man mother 3” on DeviantART. He got a picture of an anime-styled Claus with one red eye and one green eye, saved it, and put it into the folder. “It is completed.” Porky said with a smile. He plugged a machine into the keyboard, dragged the Commander folder into a box on the screen, and the machine started glowing. Suddenly, two doors opened.
A large anime figure with one red eye and one green eye came out. It had bright orange hair that went all over the place. An arm cannon with multiple tubes connected to its back was on the thing’s left hand and two large dragon-like wings sprouted from the side of the tubes. Sharp teeth stuck out from the creature’s mouth. A large belt with a Pigmask symbol was visible in between the black jacket and orange pants.
“Say hello to THE COMMANDER!” Porky screamed happily. “Hello, father.” the Commander bowed in front of Porky’s mech. “CAMERA LAMPS!” he screeched. “LOL I’M SO RANDOM!” he rushed to Porky’s bedroom and started watching Mega Babies as he drew a sparkly wolf. Mother Brain stuck her head into the room and looked at the Commander’s drawing. “What is that?” she asked. “It’s my fursona, Skullkill!” the Commander replied happily. “Fursona?” Mother Brain replied. “You don’t understand me.” The Commander complained, shooting Mother Brain in the eye. She tumbled back and fell down the stairs. “Holy phazon! I’m so sorry, dear waifu!” he shouted as he kissed Mother Brain. Darkhowl stared at the moment. “Uhh… What?” Porky ran in. “You see, the Commander is shipped with everyone and everything, so he must love everyone and everything in a romantic way.” Darkhowl glared at Porky. “Woah. I mean, seriously Porky?! Did you HAVE to apply that?! Sigh…” Darkhowl thought. The Commander got up and went back into Porky’s room. Porky came in and told him everything.
“We are going to kill Claus.”
Porky then noticed the Commander was too busy on Porky’s computer. “Wow! Is that you, Portal Master Evil, and Sparky at a dance party?! I want to take a selfie with you!” the Commander squealed. Porky got out a phone, the Commander got next to him sticking his rainbow tongue out, and Porky took the selfie. He imported the photo into his computer and it became his new wallpaper.
Chapter 3: Replacement Edit
It was the middle of the night. Claus was sleeping in his bed with a Charizard plush, like usual. Suddenly, he heard a book fall followed by quick footsteps. He opened the door and yawned, seeing his copy of Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night on the floor. As he picked it up and looked at the shelf, he noticed all of his books were replaced with Warriors. He gasped. He was tired, but he ran downstairs, only to see two shining eyes in the darkness, one red, one green. “EEEK! YOU PHAZONING FOUND ME!” it screeched as Claus turned on the lights. The person who screamed looked like him, but in an anime style. “WHO ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU REPLACING DRAGO’S MOTHER 3i ALBUMS WITH JUSTIN BEIBER AND ONE DIRECTION!?” the creature looked at him. Claus noticed he had a large bag, and noticed the cover of multiple Wings of Fire books. He shot the clone, which dropped the bag. The clone screeched in pain, swiftly put its hand in the bag, got out a How to Train Your Dragon DVD, and ran off with it. Claus looked in the bag. Everything that had been replaced was found. “What was that… ABOMINATION!?” Claus screamed. The Ultimate Chimera walked downstairs. “Hey, I found this paper!” he said. He opened his mouth, and a paper dropped out.
My adorable little monster, also known as The Commander, has been replacing your stupid merchandise with much, much better merchandise! He loves everything you hate and hates everything you loved! Also, he is based off of how your ‘fans’ view you.
Claus got the paper and crumbled it up. “Phazon… PHAZON! I’ve always hated being drawn as an anime character, but turning those drawings into one being?! AGH!” The Ultimate Chimera drooped his head and walked upstairs, tired. Claus took a deep breath and walked back into his room, closed his eyes, and tried not to think about what he just experienced.
Chapter 4: Mega Babies Marathon Edit
At 5:00 in the morning, Darkhowl heard stomping noises and the Mega Babies theme song upstairs. “PORKY, TIME TO GO TO THE STORE!!!!!” a voice screamed. “Agh, what now, did Ridley break into the house again…?” He walked upstairs, only to find out the Commander was dancing. The flatscreen TV was right next to him, the Mega Babies theme song stopped playing, and the episode began. “Oh! I love this one! Poop Doggy Dogg!” The Commander squealed happily. Darkhowl was incredibly confused. “How can you have a favorite episode if you were just created a few hours ago and therefore didn’t watch any episodes? Before you come up with excuses, you were taking selfies with Porky and having fun with him for the few hours everyone was awake and you’ve been playing Monopoly with that dead roach all night! You JUST STARTED to watch Mega Babies!” Darkhowl complained. Noctisark woke up, burned the dead roach into a tiny crisp, and put away the Monopoly board. He seemed wide awake, unlike the exhausted chimera wolf. He smiled and jumped into the Commander’s lap, and the Commander hugged him as they both stared at the screen. Darkhowl yawned, fell onto the couch, and fell asleep very close to the Commander. “Oh! I love how all of the characters drool!” The Commander remarked.
A few minutes later…
“Wow! He threw up an ocean!” The Commander rejoiced. Noctisark, still in the arms of the Commander, smiled, even though he hated the show’s humor with a passion, the Commander was nicer than expected, he just had a terrible sense of humor. Darkhowl was right next to them on the couch with headphones on to block the noise, fast asleep. The Commander was still watching the episode. “Yay! Even more drool!” He rejoiced. It wasn’t long until Noctisark started to get tired. While watching every single episode of Sonic X, the Commander didn’t notice Noctisark was completely asleep. Later, when the sun just started to come up, the Commander went up to another floor, waking up Porky, who was brushing his teeth.
“Ah, good morning Commander!” he told him. “What are you doing?” “Going to sleep” the Commander replied, falling onto Porky’s bed. “I just woke up, Commander…” Porky stated. Mother Brain was wide awake, and Darkhowl started to wake up. It was becoming clear Noctisark was getting ready to wake up, as he was starting to move a bit. The Commander got under the Fassad covers and on top of the High School Musical sheets. When Porky was finally ready for the day, the Commander was asleep in his bed. “Agh, he needs his own room sometime…” He muttered.
Chapter 5: Masked Man Monday Edit
Claus was on deviantART again, typing away. The room was bright due to the sunlight from the window going all over the place. “Cold pizza” he said to himself, typing frantically. He was wearing his mask again, like usual. Drago was trying to beat the Ultimate Chimera’s high score on Tetris yet again; the Ultimate Chimera was looking through an album he made of him, Rayman, Ridley, and Claus breaking into Porky’s house. Ridley was reading random things in his email, and life was normal. “Agh, I got an email from email@example.com... It’s just saying ‘REBLOG!’ thousands of times…” The Ultimate Chimera walked over and read the content on Ridley’s screen. “REBLOG! REBLOG! REBLOG! REBLOG! REBLOG! REBLOG! REBLOG! REBLOG! REBLO- Aww, why did you close the tab?!” Ridley looked at the Ultimate Chimera. “Porky likes to send me spam emails, mostly consisting of a single phrase, such as ‘REBLOG’, ‘WAFFLES’, or ‘COLD PIZZA, NEVER FORGET’. It’s really annoying.” The Ultimate Chimera giggled a bit. Claus was listening to Piggy Guys from Mother 3. He stared at the Yoshi picture Ridley put back on the wall and tore it down. He then noticed he forgot to plug in his headphones, and Ridley walked in.
“Claus, are you downloading stuff?” he asked.
Claus slammed the door shut before even getting a chance to look at Ridley.
Claus plugged in the headphones and started reading through a lot of blog posts on the Skylanders Fanon Wiki he made when he was younger.
“You may have been looking at the Evil catogory, Kaos was the most veiwed page. Well, now today I looked there and Fredmark was the most veiwed villain
Vecoline: BOOO! HISS!
Ok....now....since he is a Bald Eagle from the Legend of Vecoline....I think it is a good thing!
Claus sighed. There were times he just wanted to throw his old self off of a cliff. Suddenly, he heard someone knocking on the door. He ran downstairs and looked out the window, only to see two old Mabu, constantly knocking and hitting the doorbell. They held bags that said “PorkFarms.inc”, and Claus came to the conclusion they were selling stuff, so he went back upstairs.
Ridley was listening to Screw on the Loose, some production music from Spongebob, a song which he called “Drago and the UC’s Tetris theme”. The UC, despite having incredibly sharp hearing, was too focused on Drago failing miserably to beat his high score on Tetris to care. Drago was playing Tetris, violently pressing the buttons on the Gameboy. Eventually, he broke the A button. “NOOOO!” he screamed. The Ultimate Chimera snickered and looked at the Gameboy. “Sorry that you couldn’t beat my high score.” Drago charged up a Thunder Punch, but put his paw down when he remembered the UC was associated with him. Ridley closed his laptop and walked over to Drago and the UC. “Hey, you know, we can stop playing handheld games and play Rayman Kart.” Drago stared at him. “Rayman Kart? What’s that?” he asked. “A hack I made for Mario Kart Wii where all of the characters are replaced with Rayman characters.” Ridley announced proudly. Ridley led Drago and the Ultimate Chimera to the same floor Claus’ bedroom was on, where the Wii was set up.
Five minutes later…
“AGH! RIDLEY, FIRST YOU PREVENT ME FROM BEING DARKRAY BY CHOOSING HIM, AND NOW YOU THROW A BLUE SHELL AT ME?!” the Ultimate Chimera screamed. “Oh, I forgot to change the models for the shells! How can I forget something as important as that in a Rayman-themed hack?!” Ridley said to himself, slapping his head. Suddenly, Claus stormed out of his room. “WOULD YOU TWO BE QUIET?! I’m busy writing a story called From the Depths of DeviantART!” he scolded. He slammed the door shut. Ridley, UC, and Drago glared at each other before going back to playing Rayman Kart. “WOO! I WON! And you though I couldn’t win as Rayman!” the Ultimate Chimera bragged. Claus was typing away on his computer.
“It was a typical day in Claus’ house. Drago was playing Tetris on his Gameboy, trying to beat the high score which the Ultimate Chimera made, Ridley was on the internet, and the Ultimate Chimera was reading through Porky’s diaries, documentaries, and fan fiction he stole.”
Claus was leaving his playlist of Liked Videos playing, enjoying the music, but the playlist suddenly shifted from Nintenmix 147 – My Name is Porky Minch to Porky Minch Dies (Lost Sprite). Claus started laughing uncontrollably. Ridley paused Rayman Kart and walked into his room. “Claus, what are you laughing at?” Claus quickly switched the screen to his fanfiction. Ridley walked over to the screen. “Sonic fanfiction that is being read by the UC? Didn’t this all happen yesterday?” he ran out and started playing Rayman Kart again. Claus grunted and continued typing.
5 hours later…
Claus decided to go downstairs. He walked downstairs quickly, and it turned out everything was normal again. Drago was playing an online version of Tetris, trying to beat the even higher score the UC made for that, the UC was watching him, eating Goldfish, and Ridley was reading Sanic Comics on the internet. Suddenly, Claus looked through window. Right there, on the porch, Porky was standing there. “DRAGO! UC! RIDLEY! PORKY’S RIGHT THERE!” His three reptiles rushed out of the house and battled Porky on the porch. Porky kept avoiding attacks and running everywhere, which confused Claus. Usually, Porky attacked like crazy. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
Chapter 6: Claus Combat Edit
The Commander swung his lightning blade tipped with blood around, but Claus ducked. “Huh! KILLS NO MISS NO NOTHING!” The Commander screamed, stepping on Claus’ foot. He spread his large dragon wings and flapped around the house, breaking the chandelier near the door. “HA! YOU MUST BE DEAD NOW!” he squealed, only to see Claus avoided yet another attack. “IMPOSSIBLE!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. He swung his sword and cut the chain that held up a large light, only to realize the light was feet away from Claus. “I WILL DESTROY YOU!” he screamed. He destroyed Claus’ room and flew outside. Claus ran outside, turned on his jetpack, and flew towards him.
“WE FINALLY CAUGHT HIM!” the Ultimate Chimera screamed, Porky’s damaged mech right next to him.
“The things I do for victory.” Porky sighed.
The Commander and Claus flew around the house, shooting at each other. Suddenly, Claus got an idea. He zoomed past Porky and his Skylanders. Upon seeing the black and orange blur, Ridley gasped. “CLAUS!”
He flew higher and higher, dodging the beams from the Commander’s arm cannon. “I will get you to pay for what you did to my father!” the Commander screamed. Claus swiftly dodged his attacks, until suddenly the Commander threw his sword at Claus, destroying the tip of his right jetpack wing. Smoke and sparks flew out of the machine as the sword fell to the ground, and as Claus swooped, his mask fell off, alerting Claus’ Skylanders something was wrong. The Ultimate Chimera looked up into the night sky and dark clouds as it started raining. Ridley and Drago flew up, flying around the house in different directions. “CLAUS!” Ridley called.
Claus flew towards a large raincloud, and right before hitting the cloud, he swiftly swooped down. The Commander followed. “HEH! I GOT YO- What?” he was in the large raincloud. “How do I get out of here?!” he asked himself, rubbing his eyes. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hit him in the right wing, and it dissolved. “WHO IS THAT?! WHAT WAS THAT”!? He screamed in pain, getting hit by another bolt, making his left wing dissolve. As he fell quickly, another bolt of lightning hit him in the mechanical heart. He held his hand to his chest as his arm cannon fell off as a result of the tubes breaking out of his back. Blood was all over his jacket, and his face was an expression of sheer hatred as he fell to the concrete ground. Ridley, the Ultimate Chimera, Drago, and Claus gathered around him. He was paralyzed, only slightly breathing. Ridley held Claus’ mask and the Ultimate Chimera was breaking apart the Commander’s sword and cannon as he threw the remains into a hole. “What are we going to do with him?” Ridley asked Claus. Claus had no response. Porky was silent, staring at the group gathered around his dying creation, and he couldn’t do anything because his mech malfunctioned. Claus pointed his arm cannon at the Commander, creating a strong beam, finishing off the Commander.
Chapter 7: Claus Well Ends Well Edit
The next day, the doors of Porky’s house opened wide. Mother Brain ran towards the door. “Welcome back, hubby wubby! We should go out to eat sometime!” She noticed it was Porky. “Where’s the Commander?!” she exclaimed. Noctisark ran towards Porky, excited. Darkhowl strolled towards Porky, looking somewhat tired. “Well… There’s good news and bad news!” Porky replied with a fake smile. “The good news is… Umm… Fassad told me we are seeing Guardians of the Galaxy earlier today!” Noctisark stared at Porky, confused. “You two already saw Guardians of the Galaxy!” Porky teared up a bit, but it wasn’t showing because of the hair covering his eyes.
“…The Commander died in the battle with Claus.”
Mother Brain tumbled backwards, and then fainted. Darkhowl was trying to hold back tears, and Noctisark was crying. “NO! NO! HE’S NOT DEAD!” He held his paw up to his chest. How could it go so wrong? Noctisark got up and gulped.
“I think he was programmed specifically for us to enjoy his presence… US. We only had a day to enjoy it, and it was well spent. We all enjoyed it. It was obvious Claus and his Skylanders wouldn’t enjoy him.” Darkhowl got up next to Noctisark. “The Umbreon is right. Porky, for once, you were WRONG. Not everything has to be centered around finishing off Claus. Can you realize that, ‘great and powerful’ Porky Minch?” Porky was shocked. “Well, umm, good night.” Porky said, walking towards his room. Darkhowl walked over to Mother Brain, making sure she was still alive. “Well, MB is still here, but not our one and only Commander…” Darkhowl sighed. He put his paw around Noctisark, who was crying so much the paint on the machinery that covered one of his eyes was coming off. “It’s okay… Porky bought some ice cream yesterday. Want to go eat?” he asked him. “Sure, pal.” Noctisark replied. The two canines walked to the kitchen, smiling, trying to forget the loss they had heard about.
5 days later...
"Here you go! A new jetpack!" The Mecha-Drago told Claus happily. Claus took off the old jetpack with only one perfect wing, gave it to the Mecha-Drago, and got a newer one. "What will you do with the old one?" Claus asked. "Follow me..." the Mecha Drago told him. Claus followed the Mecha-Drago to a small pit of fire. In it, there was a copy of the book Turtle Tumble and a few Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 posters Rayman threw in there. Before the Mecha-Drago dropped the jetpack in, he heard a cry.
Claus and the Drago turned around, only to find out a Snivy was following them. It had a spike collar, clover blanket, and tail armor as if it was an animal from Jamaa.
"I'm Fernstar, and I come from the land of the talking animals." It said. "Why did you follow us, 'Fernstar'?" Claus asked him. "Because I wanted to tell you... THAT JETPACK IS NOSTALGIC!" He screamed. "Well... TOO BAD." the Mecha-Drago yelled back at him in his normal robotic voice, dropping the jetpack into the fire. "NO!" Fernstar whined, looking at the rubber and metal of the jetpack melt on top of the posters. "Thanks for the new jetpack." Claus rejoiced. The jetpack wings came out of the jetpack, and he flew off.
"So, curious little Snivy, how did you get here?" the Mecha-Drago asked Fernstar. The Snivy's eyes widened and it ran away quickly.
"HEY! YOU! COME BACK HERE!" the Mecha-Drago roared.